The burgers are better in Copenhagen

A couple of weeks ago we were in Copenhagen, and five nights gave us plenty of time to experience the local culinary scene. So , Danish food: you're thinking smoked fish platters, open sandwiches, butter cookies and pastries, right? Oh, and bacon. (Don't forget the bacon!) Well, think again: think -- burgers!

We did actually go to a Danish restaurant on our first night; we also tried a Vietnamese cafe down Vesterbrogade and found a delightful wine and tapas bar up near Norreport, but these are subjects for another post. For our last night in 'Hagen, we knew what we wanted: somewhere cosy, comforting, friendly, satisfying, not too far to walk or too stiff and formal, laid-back but also a bit fun and trendy. Walking us around when we first arrived, our native guide Carole had pointed out a local recommendation: a bar/cafe with a giant pink tongue painted over the front window; good for burgers. That sounded like just the thing for tonight, and so -- without any idea of what the place was called, nor a clear recollection of where exactly it was, we set out to find the mysterious cities of gold -- um, I mean, burger bar.

Halifax: spot the tongue!

Luckily, it turned out to be almost exactly where we thought it was (though we had to walk past twice before we saw it -- giant pink tongue less obvious than I thought it would be from my first memory of it!) and to be called Halifax -- named, it seems, for the brewery whose excellent beverages feature at the bar. And, as promised, they specialise in burgers, to the extent in fact that the menu consists solely of burgers, with a few (mostly) appropriate sides available: fries, mash, salad and... nachos. (I did say mostly!!)  Diners are instructed to 'vaelg din burger her' with the explanatory note that 'pa Halifax opbygger du selv din burger tallerken'.

Fortunately for the linguistically challenged among us, there's also an English menu to guide you through the steps of selecting your desired burger type, your preferred patty, your chosen side and your accompanying dipping sauce.  The burger varieties are named for globetrotting destinations with flavours supposedly appropriate to the location: the Biarritz has goats cheese and chilli-fried mushrooms (quel francais), the Crete is topped with Greek salad ingredients such as feta, olives and tzatziki, while the Liverpool promises the full English breakfast experience in burger form.

Cosy but cool: the Halifax vibe

As a recovering vegetarian, I have to fight the automatic tendency simply to order whatever non-carnivorous option is on the menu (sometimes there's more than one. Then it gets difficult because you have to choose!)  That's made even harder at Halifax by the fact that there are actually two kinds of vegie patty, not just the more common falafel but an intriguing celeriac and root vegetable burger. My decision is settled, though, when I read the fine print at the bottom of the menu, which gives an obligatory health warning about the potential dangers of eating undercooked meat before going on to note that, for reasons of flavour and juiciness, they cook all burgers to a perfect pinkness in the centre unless otherwise requested (by pregnant women and other food paranoiacs, one assumes). This sounds like a beef burger well worth eating!

If one is going to go the whole hog one may as well go the whole cow, so I plump for the Nakskov. "Have you forgotten how good it is? We have pimped the classic burger..." With all the most decadent, cholesterol-laden toppings including crispy onions, soft onions, cheddar cheese, bacon, mustard, pickles and remoulade, this is a burger to end all burgers. In fact the menu even recommends that you opt for salad as a side when having this burger (presumably because having too many calories in the same place at the same time creates an OH&S issue or at least requires some sort of statutory health warning) but I don't care and pick the fat chips anyway. I do show at least some prudence and refrain from super-pimping my Russian Pimp Burger with an extra-large beef patty (250g rather than the standard 175g); Lee demonstrates no such restraint but then I suppose he is just having the Copenhagen -- a relatively civilised classic with relish lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun (as indeed are all the burgers) -- so a super-sized all-beef patty seems not inappropriate.

While waiting for our burgers, we kick back with a couple of the aforementioned Halifax brews. My dark ale is mild, well-rounded and not at all bitter (a surprise to me as most of my admittedly limited beer experience is with English beer - the darker the bitterer, as a rule). Lee has the cider, a lovely light colour and flavour to match -- apparently made from apples but with the fragrant softness of pear ciders and not a hint of the battery-acid taste that can mar apple ciders. Both our drinks come by the metric pint, that is, 500ml -- we're amused to find that this, in Denmark, is referred to as 'a half'.

The classic Copenhagen burger

Squishing is futile; this burger is still more than mouth-height!

The burgers, when they arrive, are truly epic. There's no question of picking them up to chow down; I see now why the door-sized mouth is an appropriate decor choice. Slicing a slightly more manageable (though still hefty!) wedge from my burger reveals oozing remoulade, mounds of crispy and soft onions, melty cheese and the promised pink'n'juicy beef. It tastes unbelievably savoury, rich and luscious.

The accompanying potato wedges are a fine complement, crisp and brown outside, a nice balance between waxy and fluffy inside. The chipotle dip doesn't taste especially chipotley, the salsa has a bit more zing, however ketchup is provided at each table by the bottle; can't have chips without it!  But it's the burger that is the absolute star of the show. I eat every last bite of mine and surreptitiously lick my fingers.  Mmmmm.  I have to leave a few chips behind but the burger is worth the sacrifice.

 PIMP THAT BURGER!

Sitting replete and slightly dazed by deliciousness, full of burger and beer, we notice that the table next to us have ordered one burger & chips between two to share. Given the level of stuffedness I'm experiencing, I reflect to myself that this might have been the sensible option. But then, who wants to be sensible? Warm and fed, we waddle out into an autumnal Copenhagen night.

It's been probably 10 years -- no, more -- since the last time I ordered a hamburger.  If I had to eat only one burger to last me the next 10 years, I'm glad I chose this one. But hey, maybe we'll be back in Copenhagen before that!